….It hurts to see some one hurt.

SM has an accident, trying to impress his boss goes to work with the injury, NOT able to stand the pain, calls his colleague to rescue and comes to the local hospital, there he is treated by a amateur ( I mean jr) doc and comes back home, limping! Does not call any OA at home. Not even ME, he thinks I would have been worried needlessly! Beats me!?

All of US take him to a much better place and he is diagnosed to have an ACL Tear and Menisci Tear, Grade III! Am petrified, so is he!

On the other hand SM is a handsome man, Tall, Dark & Handsome. All three a perfect fit, with high cheek bones, a sexy scar on his forehead and toned body. He is a pleasure to watch, while changing or while walking around. Thanks to his athletic childhood.

ME, worried sick. Horrifying thoughts of SM not being able to move around with that poise haunts me. I love him, for what he is. Good at heart, Generous, Merciful, aggressive, ambitious a Gentle man. It would be devastating to see any change in him physically! I know am thinking way too loud but can’t help it. I guess this too shall pass.

..the sweet little bottle

Childhood memories are something that everyone cherishes, the reminiscences does not fade away a bit, wherever you are. The conversation is filled with melancholy at times; yes it is not so cheerful after all you do miss those days. So many things take me back to those days, tiniest, something so trivial and common holds a place; a very special place in your heart, very special I say.

…. Like the horrible weekend that went was not just due to my food poisoning… something added to it too… In the middle of the night I woke SM up to tell him that (I could not stand his snore) I am not feeling all that well and I needed some help with the headache, Mother of all! My man wakes up and very dutifully brings this small bottle from nowhere (I never knew we had one in our room)…And takes the content of it rubs in on my head gently, he could have stopped. I would have been just OK, but, he shoves it up in my nose.

.. The stir was instantaneous, like a lightening that is just the next thing of a thunder most of the times. The nostalgia swept me completely, like a gush of water from the waves that damp you! From head to toe! It is a very uneasy feeling for a person like me who is always a ‘feeler’ and am very ‘poignant’ about certain things. Hmmmmmmmmm I inhale, not able to fight back the phrases and frames that I get in front of my eyes…

We all get to bed at 9.30PM sharp, the only advantage of not having a television at home I say. Dad was pretty much NO to it, he thought that the element of distraction was its highest peak with the TV. Poor thing, he dint know that we sneaked in to vasu maami’s house to get a glimpse of ‘nazare’ and ‘Seahawks’ and ‘Rangoli’, you see those were the days I am talking about!

I would sleep only between mom and dad (!!) and my sister only next to mom and dad will start by asking how the school was, partially because mom would have told him that I came back with some bruise or swollen face. Thanks to the volley ball games I played. From there the conversation would go to what happened in the house the whole day and mom would fill him with every single, itsy bitsy detail and then from there to what I want (the scale I generously gave off to the girl who I thought was pretty and homeless, and the pencil I forgot to take back from my Science teacher or the Ink pen which did not write anymore or the shoes that I had torn the other day), I always had something to ask for. The thing is we all have our own ‘wants’ and ‘needs’ but there was something very simple about it like a ease about ‘wanting’ in those days we were not worried about asking for anything.

On the other hand AR (my little sis) was quite a peace full kid and painfully organised too. I am the one who always shook up things. Then on the corner AR would start to make faces at me and tell mom of how I am getting all the attention from dad (I was my always a dad’s girl, while my sister is ‘amma ponnu’) or she would be happily yawning in moms lap some days. I told you she is this very ‘chamathu’ types.

After all this, dad would take this small bottle filed with the yellow thing and apply it on his head, nostrils and throat and would also do the same to me. He had big hands and I loved it when he caress my cheek and move the hair off my forehead and applied this yellow thing smoothly, the air in that room fills with its smell, the feeling of comfort soothes you over and I slowly close my eyes. This is how I would sleep and this is the ONLY way I would sleep!

These memories are MOSTLY because that I encountered the thing after almost say 8 or 10yrs I guess! Oh! Till that particular night I never realized that ‘this’ particular smell could take me past so many years.

This Amurthanjan has gotten itself a profound importance and significance in my life. It reminds me of few things I would never fail to remember, My Childhood days which was a bliss, The Surety about life while sleeping between mom and dad you know you are safe you are sure that nothing can happen to you none of those cockroaches or the mosquitoes are going to be successful and then the most important thing of all Those memories, those Happy Days where everything was FUN! Right from someone falling of the roof to the rain that came knee deep into the house. I remember me and my sister giggled through everything.

Now dad has stopped using it. It is a long forgotten habit for him. I wonder how he sleeps without his sweet bottle next to him. I did ask him the other day ‘eppadi pa thungarey un sweet bottle ellamey’?! And we all laughed about few more silly things for the next 1hr or so…

Nostalgic !!

Of weekends and the Monday’s

… thinking about what I did over the weekend, makes me want to cry. It could be OK if I had dined out or at least was at some wedding / party of any kind, but no things happen over some thing as trivial as a Good Day biscuit, WTF??? Two hours after taken three cookies am down on the bed, scrawling / rolling and agonizing over the pain and then in the next few hours, puff… am in the hospital. My beautiful weekend begins. I was food poisoned!!?? Over a couple of a trusted brand of trusted flavored biscuit! Don’t you dare stop me if I say “My f**king rotten time?” Only when you think it can’t get any worse, it just happens. There I go to one lousy hospital, coz that’s the one nearer to home, there are no “DOCTOR’s” there at that hour but they do have “Doctors” who f**king jus look like a school going kids. Fine! What can I do? With all those pain? Then comes the night mare, I mean am jus curious, why can’t they ever cure anything with just those tiny tablets, why and why would they need to put that needle on me??? Or for the matter on any one? At this exact point I was thinking how the heck are you going to get a tattoo done baby?? things went to worse from bad!! couldn’t believe my eyes on seeing the list “Two Injections & One Blood Test” that’s bloody three times the needle on me. I am f**king food poisoned not “POISONED”!!???Right? No one hears me? do they??. Thank God for small mercies I dint know a thing of what happened to me in the next couple of hours after the first one was injected So the blissful weekend comes to an end as I return home the sunday evening!

The only good part is it was an extended weekend and I took off on Monday too.

.. Its this out of the world thing and I personally feel nothing is as sinfully blissful as taking off on Monday, people who have seen the real Monday’s know what am talking about. The day when things literally goes haywire and you see bunch of people on there toes running here and there with papers, Oh not to mention those 10.00 AM meetings. Ah! I wake up at some sexy 11’o clock….singing whiskey lullabyJ..la la la…5 missed calls in my office phone. Two from my client’s (he he) am loving it. 3 from my office (Yeah they missed me!!). After all the feel good minutes and daily chores, I answer my door bell; there is this guy, old paper walla. “Amma, intha books ketanga” usually my MIL would ask for anything like a long novel or sort of her tamil weekly’s but this time… what I see in his hands was unbelievable! All brightened up I collect them and run to my bed room and jump on the bed and am still not able to get over the idea of what I am looking at, its been a decade since I’ve seen them. PHANTOM “The Ghost who walks”. Thou let the music blare and starts reading 5 of them at a stretch. Trust me, take my word. There is nothing as pleasurable as a comic read on that hour and at that day of the week. Imagine…a woman mid 30’s, running behind her ass as she is really struggling to catch up with it and my work and as well as her work. Heaven!! (I owe her a drink by the way) Let’s chuck the fact a person I know is acting really like a piece of shit about something to do with the mood swing and the fact that I broke my sexy 12MP dual lens Kodak. I was doing just fine until I saw this morning papers! Don’t even get me started on the Lehman, Merrill story. I really wanted to bawl my eyes out. Two of the BEST clients I‘ve ever worked with and TWO of the biggest name that I am always so fucking PROUD to say I’ve worked with. Bad Time eh??

10.9.8.7.6.5.4.3.2.1 another Tag :)

Ten Things You Wish You Could Say To People Right Now (names withheld).

- I really owe you my life, you have no idea how much you mean to me. I treasure you more than my life. Thank you for everything you did for me.
- I know you love me, but I fail to get it at some times. Do you know I love you, even after every argument we have.
- It would have been really great if you dint get sick at that time. I really feel you deserve better
- I wish I had your life.
- You really changed the way I see a lot of things, If not for you I would never have looked beyond certain things, did certain things. You are everything I always wanted to be. I really would like to see our relationship the same way till we kick the bucket.
- Personally, I think you are the number one hypocrite I have ever come across. You are the perfect example of some who does not follow “Preach what you practice”. You think you are intelligent, smart, calculated but you are not anything like that, all you are is so cynical and cheap & fucking jealous of everything and everyone around you. You can’t take people grow in front of you unless you are appreciated for there growth. You will die trying to be the center of attention all through your life. You know what? you actually could do better.
- I trusted you, you were younger to me, I treated you like my sister, but then I found that you are not worth anything like that.
- You fucking cheated me, you know it and I know it! Period!
- What I did might look stupid but come to think of my situation you will understand why I did that. You will one day understand that my intentions were never against you.
- I wish you understand that money is not everything in life.

Nine Things About Yourself

- I am honest, to an extent you can’t take it but not blunt.
- I’m a fantastic cook
- I am obese, but will get back in shape.
- The only issue with me is I procrastinate things like no ones business. Mind it am not lazy.
- I am always confused with my feelings, I don’t know if I hate or if I like.
- I think if people are not happy with a person like me, it’s difficult for them to get along with anyone.
- I have loads of patience.
- I am a freedom lover that is highly needed in anything I do.
- I like to be criticized but only if you understand the thin line between criticizing and complaining about everything.

Eight Ways To Win Your Heart

- Love me, unconditionally.
- Be honest
- Talk from your heart.
- Tell me I write well.
- Pamper me
- Ask me to cook for you.
- Buy me a new Watch.
- Never complain.

Seven Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot

- I procrastinate.
- “Do something about you wt”
- Will I get twins?
- What should I cook for tomorrow’s dinner?
- I wish I lived alone.
- Did I get married too soon?

Six Things You Wish You Never Did.

-Trusted people blindly
- That day in office, I wish I could go back and erase.
- I should not have gained this much wt.
- My commerce degree, I should have taken up journalism as my dad suggested. Damn Me!!!!!
- Making online friends. (WTF was I thinking?).
- Getting married this soon.
- Why people don’t get the real me?

Five Turn-Off’s

- Hypocrites
- Dishonesty
- Looking decked up always (a simple look is more sexier than, walking always with you blush on)
- People who lie.
- People who are judgmental, conservative in thoughts.

Four Turn-On’s

- Honesty
- Good body
- Humor
- A good perfume (men’s ofcourse)

Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die

- Lose wt.
- Write my book
- Making sure everyone I love is safe.

Two Smileys’ that Describe You

-

-

One Confession.

- I am not anything I look like. Don’t tell me that I dint warn you.

I tag Don.Osris, Mahi Senthil, Bish, Pri (only bcoz I want to know what your answer is for few questions).

To WHOMSOEVER it may Concern !!

“… Listen, what the f**k do you think of yourself.. The damsel from heaven? for God sake please get over it! You have a nice face, YES!.. But everything else.. Am so sorry to say not impressive. There are people who come behind you like your slave… for that little skin you show and that’s how you wanted them to be for all the while… You used them… You know it you did and you know I knew it too. You can try hard to look great but actually what you do look like is expensive… and desperate which by the way you are! I have been there with you when you were totally f**ked up? Remember?? You won’t… Because you are an S**t (this is not shit, this is another bad word). If you don’t like me, tell me on my Face be a woman with dignity and tell me on my face, don’t act cheap, do not f**king act like an 8yr. If you think I have not been nice to you at any point in time, please f**king understand that you always had a perception problems, and (you have to work on improving it!) you were not able to understand anything I did you remember? I will come back and explain you every time I did something? Now that I’ve gotten to know how filthy you are let me tell you few more things,

1. Am way too nice for people like you.
2. And you are nice to people who are rich and look expensive or they spend on you.
3. You are extremely jealous of me, but I can’t help it.
4. Is it because you realized am really smarter/intelligent that you are??

And

1. I know you are a sucker for money and expensive things.
2. You are a f**king materialistic w***e.
3. You so f**king judge people on the kind of clothes they wear.
4. By default you start the conversation with them by looking down on people.
5. When you are done with them, you throw people like the used tissue paper.
6. And… I know how much shamelessly you take “free gifts” from everyone.

But the only thing I still don’t understand is… I somewhere down the lane in our relationship I remember you being nice!! Or is it just one of your tricks?

Whatever shit it is, am over you, am done expecting you to be nice. Now you may f**k off, please go stick your well manicured fingers in your well cleaned and creamed (possibly some cream which any of your NRI friend must have gifted you) ass!”

Have a great life!